Praise Jesus. I am still alive another day!
I have struggled a small bit this week but nothing too bad. Finances are always on my mind. I have got to make a budget. It will happen next week and I will be more stable in that area God willing. I want to be a more responsible person and that's one thing I can work on. I also still fight the same battle of loneliness. It's just a struggle some days(i feel the tears coming as I type this sentence). No matter what I tell myself, or what other people tell me, or what I read in the scripture, I still feel like there must be something wrong with me. Well, there is. I'm not skinny and probably will never be a size 0 or whatever. I feel like no matter what I do, I'll never be good enough. I almost cry every time I go to the gym. I feel like what I'm doing is useless. I haven't really lost any weight. What if I do attain the perfect figure? What if some guy I've been in love with for 10 years wants to date me? Why couldn't I be good enough before? I'm still the same me. (tear) It sucks to be a fat girl in a skinny world... I see ugly guys with beautiful girls all the time... It's such a double standard and it tells me I have to be perfect and I just can't.
I feel so disgusting and ugly sometimes.
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